Under my breath... Behind my grin... Within my eyes...

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Aslu bunan vahaka eh?
Ok thigolaa magey mathin hadhaan nethunas...
Ingey dho maa reethi maa rangalhu meehun ves vaane kan....
Nubunaanan mihaa loabi vaane meehaku nufennaaney and all that bullshit
Fenives dhaane, fenijjeyaa salhi ennu...
Ekam I tried to make you happy ingey.. more than you know kanneinge...
Ok dhen neyngunas, mihaaru kon kameh dho...
I was there as a friend, and more...
Ekamz when I needed smth, you couldn't dho...
It's okay, you don't have to, no one should be pushed to do what that person doesnt wanna do... dhooooo....
Fucku vee coz I realised that I thought something meant a lot
Ekam in the end it was like just nothing dho...
Its my fault for dreaming...
Its my problem coz I wanted...
I wish you didn't make me think that...
But I guess things just had to be that way dho... Fate and shit like that...
Dhen...urm...
I miss you but I have to keep this distance coz I have so much to deal with..
You have your problems ennu...
I have mine, and I have so many people to look after and so much duties to attend to, people who depend on me dho... I can't do it if I keep thinking about my pain eheve forgive me if I'm not being your friend anymore...
I can't until I'm totally back on track...
And your jokes recently dho... they are pretty much torture to see...
So I feel this is for the best aslu...
Thats all I guess...
*Whew*
Beyru kollee :D!

Refreshed... Aqvaaaa Fressssssssss....

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The last thing any one who has been to a rave has every said that they feel is refreshed... I bet anyway... despite being in a stinky pit with 30 000 other stinky poos and surrounded by elephants and blinding lights and highhhhhhhhh people attempting to shuffle in the mud :P .... I felt so refreshed waking up this morning, and it's not because of any 'state of mind' I was in at that moment... or that I had gotten lucky :P or anything...
Just felt like I released so much fucking tension that had been building inside of me... Mmm... Still ecstatic :P
"can't help it, girl can't help it...
you got me trippin', tumblin', trippin', oo stumblin'..."
:D!!!!
Such a good therapy to get over people and mistakes and shit like that :)

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

No one. Nothing.

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Years and years of repressed anger just fills me. I cry. I scream. I laugh. I burn... I die, deep inside.
Lies, lies, untangle me from your lies.
Talk talk talk... shut the fuck up...
Their issues, their addictions, their lives.
I'm living, I'm breathing but I'm dead inside...
You never saw the dimming light...
The fading colour...
It's over...
So I became invisible.
Untouchable.
Unnoticed.
Because I was Unwanted.
Friends. Enemies. The same fucking thing. Lies, truth... it all fucking depends.
What you want to believe.
What you chose to see.
Games, Jokes, Pranks
Neverending cycle
So why am I not laughing...
You're fucking me up
Why should I keep laughing
You're entertainment, satisfaction, happiness
Fuck that shit.

Some 'badi' saaave mee *angelic shmyle"

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I guess most people wouldn’t have guessed it but I have the damsel in distress syndrome. What the fuck is that you ask? Well, I might appear to be independent and strong and all that shit (at least they say so, I have no clue as to why, and tough talk has nothing to do with being tough!) but I am the kind of girl that when the going gets tough… I get going… to the nearest Prince Charming!
Lah dee dah… typical na? Oh well… I do seem to run into the arms of the nearest dearest savior around every single time that my heart gets broken.
Or I could take the more naïve… or more optimistic (depending on your personal level of cynicism I suppose) approach and think of it as God always keeps a guardian angel by my side when I’m alone… In a sense maybe it’s like that, maybe I just fall into a trap, when I could easily turn it into a positive thing…
Just as always… I have had my heart broken… and as always… (Surprise surprise), I stumbled across my hero for the moment… but I’m not running this time… I’m running far away…
Why? Time and again but the heart has a permanent crack, which just won’t go away.

Interview with Thom

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I found this stupid FWD mail thing and since I have become so utterly SAD and lifeless - I had nothing better to do and worked my way through this CRAP! If you are similarly devastatingly bored, read on. Maybe do it yourself. LOL.

1. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Facebook for Dummies :P (izza joke!)
2. WHAT TIME IS IT?
09:29
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE MAT?
Using a laptop
4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Snakes and ladders :P
5. YOUR FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Cosmopolitan
6. BABIES?
I want I want I want!
7. FAVOURITE SOUND?
My baby girl laughing
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Feeling like you’re all alone
9. FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IN THE MORNING?
It’s morning...again...
10. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Depends on what I am doing, where I am, what the time is and so on…usually a lotttttt of rings (sorry guys)
11. FUTURE CHILDS NAME?
Layla… Elsa… depends, guys name neynge =P
12. FAVOURITE COLOUR?
Poirrple
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE?
My family (what’s left of it)
14. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Anything Italian… and Garudhiya aa bathaa!!!
15. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
If I could play dho, so it’s assuming I cannot play at the moment…hmm… drums!
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Man made pleasures... OF COURSE! Thus the bruises on me...
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Yesh…*blush* and not just one... (such a hoe!!! :P)
18. STORMS - cool or scary?
W'eva…personally I prefer the sunshine
19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Toy little Pajeros… so not a car actually but hey, the future lies before me
20. WHO IS THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACk AND TALK WITH?
My first bf! But I don’t he would have liked me very much as I am today…
21. FAVOURITE DRINK?
:P um… kalhu sai!
22. WHAT'S IN THE BOOT OF YOUR CAR?
Don’t have a car as of yet
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCOLLI?
Nah…I like the other bit, with CHEESE!
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Be a reporter for something like Al Jazeera… live from some place like Iraq
25. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
There are a few lazy bones
27. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
Who cares? I can see my reflection… =P
28. FAVOURITE MOVIE?
Comes and goes…
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
There is no ‘right’ way to do anything
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
Big scary monster. I’m not gonna look!
31. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER?
13
32. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH??
I’d rather play than watch but football’s alright
33. SAY AT LEAST ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
They are all lovely people...
34. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
On a deserted island in Maldives, with huge restrictions for anyone else to come within 20 miles of the spot (which would be hard :P)
35. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
Nothing at all
36. BEACH, MOUNTAINS or CITY
Beach, beach, beach bitch beach!
37. TECHNOLOGY or ART?
To be honest tech is hard to live without, but art is expression … ART!
38. COMMEDY OR HORROR?
Comedy. =)
39. FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I like them tall, dark and handsome
40. FAVOURITE TIME OF DAY?
The dark of the night
41. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT?
I donno about you but I save money and download. =P Piracy is not ma problem! The last thing I bought was GNR though
42. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
Back, neck...
43. WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU. STRONG IN MIND or STRONG IN BODY?
Mind
44. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
7
45. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ITEM IN THE KITCHEN?
This might sound weird, but bread, olive oil and balsamic vinegar
46. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
Lies. Hypocrisy.
47. WHAT DO YOU PREFER, A SPORTS CAR or 4x4?
Sports
48. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?
I think I do
49. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON?
Summer. No question
50. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Invisibility
51. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
Even if I had one, I wouldn’t want the whole world to know about it 0=>
52. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Nope
53. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY?
Friday
54. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI or HAMBURGER?
Sushi – less calories
55. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU E-MAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND
FIRST?
We’ll see
56.WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM?
Quite a few ppl
57.WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CARTOON?
Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, Aladdin, Carebears … =P
58. FAVOURITE MEAL?
Breakfast.. I can live on it all day
59. IF YOU COULD TAKE A VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Home
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
Had a cat. Not anymore. Have turtle. =>

Chocaholics - The RELIGION

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To have one’s diet defeated by chocolate is a delectable defeat.

God sends no stress that prayer and chocolate cannot handle!

When the going gets tough, the tough get chocolate.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.

I am a woman of many moods, and they all require chocolate.

Warning! I have PMS and I'm all out of chocolate!

Warning! Chocoholic in Residence.

If God had meant us to be thin, He would NOT have created chocolate.

I'm going on a starvation diet. No chocolate for 24 hours!

In heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course.

Sisters share laughter, tears and lots of chocolate.

Money may talk, but chocolate sings!

The best things in life are chocolate.

Some things in life are better rich. . . coffee, chocolate, men.

In the beginning there was the word, and the word was chocolate and it was good. Confec. 1.5 oz. 340 cal.

I eat anything as long as it is chocolate.

Q. How many calories are there in a piece of chocolate?
A. Who cares?

Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate.

I love you as much as chocolate itself!

So much chocolate. So little time!

Give me chocolate or give me death, for to live without chocolate is not living!

Anything is good and useful if it is made of chocolate.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose.

If there is no chocolate in heaven, I'm not going!

It's never too early or too late for chocolate.

When my time is up, let it be death by chocolate.

I only eat chocolate for you, so there will be more of me to love.

Promise me anything, but give me chocolate.

Do Not Disturb: Chocolate fantasy in progress.

Forget the fruitcake, give me chocolate.

There's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.

When life gets you down and nothing is going right, you always have a friend ... in chocolate.

The future is uncertain. Eat your chocolate first.

The best over-the-counter prescription to perk you up is chocolate.

The way to a woman's heart is through a box of chocolates.

Will do anything for chocolate!

Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.

I never met a chocolate I didn't like.

Forget love! I'd rather fall in chocolate!

The key to my heart is chocolate.

Don't send me roses, unless they are chocolate!

If life is a box of chocolates, I want the cherry-filled!

There are two food groups: Chocolate and fruit. And if it is fruit, it should be dipped in chocolate.

I'm a Chocoholic's Anonymous drop out.

There is no Chocolate's Anonymous because no one wants to quit.

Chocolate is worth its weight in gold.

A chocolate bar is better than a gold bar.

Chocolate is an essential nutrient.

If it's chocolate, it's sending out messages for me to eat it.

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

There's never a wrong time for chocolate.

Chocolate is to die for. Only it's so sinfully good I'd never get to heaven!

Money can't buy love, but it can buy chocolate.

A day without you is like a day without chocolate.

Chocolate satisfies all my cravings.

Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but woman can.

One never outgrows the need for chocolate.

Chocolate solves everything!

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is!

If at first you don't succeed, have a chocolate!

Things are bad. Send chocolate!

S.O.S. Need chocolate!!

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you like.

Eat a chocolate before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you will eat less.

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.

Store your chocolate on top of the refrigerator. Calories are afraid of heights and will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

Chocolate is the food group they don't tell you about!

Who says chocolate isn't a food group!!

Equal parts of dark chocolate and white chocolate make a balanced diet.

The preservatives in chocolate will make you look younger.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control-top pantyhose and an entire garment industry would be out of business.

A nice box of chocolate provides your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you will get one thing done.

Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Answer: Because no one wants to quit.

Problem: How do you get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car? Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.

Make mine chocolate!

You are some bunny special. (Put with a chocolate bunny)

Crafting is my passion. But chocolate comes in a very close second! (Substitute any hobby.)

Boost the economy. Skip dieting, buy larger clothes, Twinkies, Bon Bons, chocolate...

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Those who say "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" haven't tasted real chocolate!

Milk chocolate is a dairy product.

Another deep breath take, and do without that chocolate cake! NOT!

Food used for medicinal purposes, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake, do not have calories.

The four food groups: Brownies, Chocolate Cake, Fudge, Diet Coke

Save Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Good friends share their chocolate chip cookies.

Friends are the chocolate chips of life.

In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

A grandma is admired for her wisdom, patience, understanding and her chocolate chip cookies.

Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent. I have not whined, bitched, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my credit card. However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen

If the world was fair, a VCR would program itself, chocolate would not be fattening and men would give birth to babies.

Life is like a box of chocolates. . . full of nuts.

Men are like a box of chocolates. You never know when you’re going to get a nut.

The calories in white chocolate are negative and cancel out the positive calories in dark chocolate.

Those calorie-free sweets taste great dipped in chocolate!

And on the eighth day God created chocolate.

There's nothing wrong with me that a little chocolate won't cure.

Life would be so desolate without any chocolate!

The two major food groups:
A) The foods that you put cheese on.
B) The remaining foods that you put chocolate on.

Sisters and chocolate make life bearable.

Chocolate comes with its price. . . control-top pantyhose.

What came first, woman or the chocolate bar?

Chocolate. . . it isn't just for breakfast anymore.

19 rules to remember in life...

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1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.



2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.



3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.



4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.



5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.



6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.



7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.



8. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. ( I love this one )



9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.



10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.



11. Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.



12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.



13. Eat well, stay fit.



14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.



15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.



16. A balanced diet is a chocolate bar in each hand.



17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.



18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.



19. Rubbish is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Apology UN Accepted

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I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say..
That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late


There is so much of I'm sorry that even I can hear before I start doubting the truth. I have been running in circles for months and months and not once did I listen to what ANYONE else had to say. Not once have I ever questioned you, doubted you although you scared the living daylights out of me time after time. I don't have to care for you, but I do so anyway, despite what EVERYONE has to say. Whatever you've asked of me I've done for you, not because I have nothing to do but I wanted you to know that there is SOMEONE there for you always. But yeah, you know at the end of the day, it's clear that I'm absolutely NOONE to you and don't worry I've dealt with that reality.

And that's okay, you're drowning in an ocean of secrets, and only I will ever know how much you meant to me.

I don't want to make it easy for you but you know what? I want to honor the memory of you. So to night babe, I'm packing up your stuff and hiding the box under my bed, so I shall not see or feel anything that belongs to you. As of right now, all the chat logs, pictures etc are stored on a CD that goes in with everything else. Out of sight , out of mind. The SMS's have been deleted... Wow, the memory is untraceable. Except from my heart I suppose.

I hope you don't ruin your life doing everything that you want to do... because clearly these things you keep doing... are not making you very happy. But a man who choses pain will live in pain I guess. Good luck with that.

I just wanted to tell you that I really loved you and I can't believe you didn't know that especially because everything was your initiative anyway. Or maybe you just wanted something more superficial - well I have news for you; I'm not 11 years old and love to me is more than a text message. It's more than empty promises. And it's more than a singular act.

It's a lot of things. Love is not telling anyone secrets you're dying to tell because it will save him... It's hiding a suspected pregnancy from a incompetent father and dealing with all the drama on your own because you didn't want to complicate things for him! Love is challenging your friends and family defending him, because you know he is a good person inside. Love is smiling and kissing him when you know he won't remember in the morning, anything other than his problems that is.

I'll tell you what it isn't. It isn't not replying calls or messages and apologising at 4 a.m. because you were BUSY - every single freaking night when you simply have to put up for a couple of days, it's not disappearing for months and saying you didn't have credit when you had money to buy what you WANTED, it's showing up to say hello and kissing me goodbye. It's being honest when you know she'll forgive you anyway. It's giving her respect for what she does for you, and the time she gives for you at least enough to tell her that you don't have any feelings for her. It's being man enough to stop breaking her heart. It's brave enough to give her a name.

So the next time you tell me you're sorry, save your breath.

Sorry babe...

I'm not listening any more.