Lovely already this Too-Oh-Oh-Ate is...
:)
And happy bday to me... another wrinkle, another year, more responsibilities... more troubles... *sigh*...
Two more years to find the guy, five more years to get married, seven more years till kids... God :(... That is if I follow my life plan (which has already been severely disrupted so I guess it doesn't quite matter anymore... but I still kind of consider it :P)
I just keep thinking of how ironic everything so far in Jan'z been... like everything which I thought of as signed, sealed, delivered... went totally berserk... I mean things happened lah, way too late or completely off mark.
The whole of last year I prayed for somethings to happen... and they did... after it all become useless and IRRELEVANT!!! And I should be frustrated but all I can manage is to be somewhat amused.
Anyways I can't wait to see what else is in store.. actually scratch that... It sort of scares me...
Two Zero Zero Eight
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I deleted the 'Fucked Up' post coz I really didn't want the year to begin like that, because you know, it really did not begin that bad. The year ending was lovely, and the year began with a whole lot more hope.
Sure I had to come to terms with a hell lot of loss, in terms of relationships of all sorts and times and lots of other things. 2007 was hard, and even if it's just a blog - it's symbolic of a lot of me... and I refuse to begin a fresh new year in such a depressing, negative, childish manner...
But... Thanks everyone who added the nice, sweet comments. And for the negative ones.. yeah you're right. I was being a brat... I ought to know a whole lot better.
So my NY resolutions... is ;
1. To be a better friend, a better support to my mother and the people in my family who do give a damn about me (like Kootha, Faraa ... and all...) - basically surround myself with positive people and get rid of everyone else... and make a clear distinction between coffee mates, party mates (who I shall not mention) and REAL FRIENDS (like Sharu...).. yeah...
2. To maybe go for a serious relationship, seriously... I have like joked around enough I mean... I can't keep running away from all kinds of commitment dho? I wanna stop being scared to care... and start going for stable guys instead of hiding by going for ones that just wanna have fun!
3.To start writing again, and earning etc... I should start again where I left off!!! WORK!!!!
4. To find more time for the things I used to love like diving, reading and MUSIC, and spend less time on the things that used to occupy all my time (and my cash!!!)! ---> HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE!!!
5. To smile more :D
Sure I had to come to terms with a hell lot of loss, in terms of relationships of all sorts and times and lots of other things. 2007 was hard, and even if it's just a blog - it's symbolic of a lot of me... and I refuse to begin a fresh new year in such a depressing, negative, childish manner...
But... Thanks everyone who added the nice, sweet comments. And for the negative ones.. yeah you're right. I was being a brat... I ought to know a whole lot better.
So my NY resolutions... is ;
1. To be a better friend, a better support to my mother and the people in my family who do give a damn about me (like Kootha, Faraa ... and all...) - basically surround myself with positive people and get rid of everyone else... and make a clear distinction between coffee mates, party mates (who I shall not mention) and REAL FRIENDS (like Sharu...).. yeah...
2. To maybe go for a serious relationship, seriously... I have like joked around enough I mean... I can't keep running away from all kinds of commitment dho? I wanna stop being scared to care... and start going for stable guys instead of hiding by going for ones that just wanna have fun!
3.To start writing again, and earning etc... I should start again where I left off!!! WORK!!!!
4. To find more time for the things I used to love like diving, reading and MUSIC, and spend less time on the things that used to occupy all my time (and my cash!!!)! ---> HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE!!!
5. To smile more :D
Second Chances
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People are exactly what they are. People. Ie - they are human.
Which means they make mistakes.
Which is fine.
It also means that they are simply who they are.
They don't really change.
What I'm trying to say is that.. some one who is mean tempered will always really be mean tempered. They can try not to be but when worst comes to worst... you'll see their true colours - so to speak.
Some one who lies... will always lie. Maybe they'll stop once you scream at them enough, but when they have the chance to avoid a bad situation they'll just up lying - it is only natural, in fact.
That's why I don't really believe in giving people second chances, atleast not most of the time.
On the other hand I do believe that the mistakes people make do not always reflect who they are... I am just saying that if you are, for example, possesive and jealous by nature... you will probably always be so and it's not really even your fault - you should be with someone who appreciates those characteristics. Not someone who judges or worse - resents such.
Observing another example... a violent person has always been and will forever be a violent person. If you think you can prove a point by hitting, slapping or stabbing someone... it's probably too deeply embedded in you to really fade away especially by something I say. Perhaps some one (anyone) could try to threaten you and stop you, but if thats what you always end up resorting to (as in physical methods), in a serious emotional event who is to say you won't do the same thing again? And if I don't believe in such values... I should probably avoid you rather than continue to fight to maintain what is essentially an on and off love-hate relationship with you. Perhaps we would be happier living seperate lives. Perhaps I am the only one who provokes this in you. Then maybe it is better for both of us ... perhaps you could find a better suited scapegoat for your issues.
So... if there so happens to be a situation wherein you break my trust, go against my will, disappoint me... or you know, basically infuriate me... I'm saying I would probably 'move on' .. sooner or later. I just don't have the patience to wait for this sort of change, I just don't see it happening.
Don't get me wrong though it's not because it's unforgivable, after all I am human and just as far from perfect as you are, if not more so. I've been given my fair share of second chances with friends and all that I basically begged for, but I've to say... in the end, 'I' regretted it more than the person who gave me the chance. Would've been better off just to fuck off. Just about every time. So it's not really a matter of selfishness, I mean - compromise is there but a lot of the time, it so isnt worth it. Or it will prove to be.
It's a question of compatibility... it's like we are better off not knowing each other.
Be it friends... lovers... or even family.
Which means they make mistakes.
Which is fine.
It also means that they are simply who they are.
They don't really change.
What I'm trying to say is that.. some one who is mean tempered will always really be mean tempered. They can try not to be but when worst comes to worst... you'll see their true colours - so to speak.
Some one who lies... will always lie. Maybe they'll stop once you scream at them enough, but when they have the chance to avoid a bad situation they'll just up lying - it is only natural, in fact.
That's why I don't really believe in giving people second chances, atleast not most of the time.
On the other hand I do believe that the mistakes people make do not always reflect who they are... I am just saying that if you are, for example, possesive and jealous by nature... you will probably always be so and it's not really even your fault - you should be with someone who appreciates those characteristics. Not someone who judges or worse - resents such.
Observing another example... a violent person has always been and will forever be a violent person. If you think you can prove a point by hitting, slapping or stabbing someone... it's probably too deeply embedded in you to really fade away especially by something I say. Perhaps some one (anyone) could try to threaten you and stop you, but if thats what you always end up resorting to (as in physical methods), in a serious emotional event who is to say you won't do the same thing again? And if I don't believe in such values... I should probably avoid you rather than continue to fight to maintain what is essentially an on and off love-hate relationship with you. Perhaps we would be happier living seperate lives. Perhaps I am the only one who provokes this in you. Then maybe it is better for both of us ... perhaps you could find a better suited scapegoat for your issues.
So... if there so happens to be a situation wherein you break my trust, go against my will, disappoint me... or you know, basically infuriate me... I'm saying I would probably 'move on' .. sooner or later. I just don't have the patience to wait for this sort of change, I just don't see it happening.
Don't get me wrong though it's not because it's unforgivable, after all I am human and just as far from perfect as you are, if not more so. I've been given my fair share of second chances with friends and all that I basically begged for, but I've to say... in the end, 'I' regretted it more than the person who gave me the chance. Would've been better off just to fuck off. Just about every time. So it's not really a matter of selfishness, I mean - compromise is there but a lot of the time, it so isnt worth it. Or it will prove to be.
It's a question of compatibility... it's like we are better off not knowing each other.
Be it friends... lovers... or even family.
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