Hey, it looks like I'm back. In full force ranting. Well, maybe not, but reflecting at least.... Something eh?
I dream too much. I dream like, a lot. The thing about dreams though, is that they are dreams for a reason. The original human lie. Hope, wishes, fairness, karma. Fuck that. Life is a series of random shit happening for no apparent reason and I just happen to be one of the unfortunate fools who get the bitter end of the deal, when it comes to what I want.
But I'm just one like the other billion nothing special. My problems aren't unique or new or particularly bad. They are just problems... like everyone's got problems. Shit happens.
I know most of you are either ranting or suppressing a massive loud 'DUH!' but hey, it's good to say it out loud. Remind yourself you are insignificant in the grand schemes of the universe. Why? Because it reminds you that if you choose to jump off a cliff then you are nothing but a statistic. You can choose to live a mundane life, you're nothing but a statistic. You can choose to be a success and ironically you're still stats, albeit associated with numbers that can be interpreted in a more positive manner :P.
Paint a gloomier picture eh? It's not all bad, it just serves to prove that since whether you succeed or fail it doesn't really matter and time erases any trace of that anyway, you might as well live to be happy. Live for the little things that make you smile, make your heart race, make your insides melt, make you laugh like a 5 year old...
Study, if it makes you happy. Love, if it makes you happy. Leave home, if that will make you happy. Have kids, if you think it'll make you happy, although here, might be wise to wonder if you could make them happy. Travel, if it makes you happy. Heck, get stoned if thats they only way you're happpy, although if thats the case, I feel a little sorry for you. What's more important is what not to do anyway. Case in point, don't - spend your time making someone happy when its making you miserable most of the time. Don't be nice if it makes you wanna shoot yourself. Sometimes, being an ass is in order. Simply 'surviving' through life is a truly pathetic way to live. (This sentence hopefully evokes some sense into a adorable but sometimes idiotic friend of mine ;))
I'm gonna try living with this somewhat selfish mantra. I've been twiddling with the idea for a while, but it was my bestie who pretty much flicked on the light. He's right. I might be trying, but certainly haven't been investing in the right stuff. I have serious weaknesses, and I know them and while indulging them may be easier, the truth is that it's not worth it, and it will never truly make me happy. And it's time I stopped being a wuss and faced up to that.
Even fun has an expiry date. When its time to move on, its time to move on.
