What do we really feel sorrow for when we mourn a lost life?
Fading memories, lost possibilities… a lacking presence
And what do we mourn in what can be the profound hurting of a broken heart?
Above all, I should say – a lost hope.
But hope is a man made concept, and of course all that is man made is in fact artificial, which makes it unreal.. and what is not real has to be a lie... and a lie is in all reality - non existent!
So the next time you sit at home a cry about a loer or a love that you welcomed and natured (therefore not even a naturally developed affection) - if you ever do, remember that all you are crying about is simply - NOTHING.
Just close your eyes and turn to a side where you can actually see the light and feel its warmth. Actually no matter what kind of pain it is that you are feeling the only realistic step towards achieveing anything is to cut ties with the past that is dragging you down. Vengence is a lazy form of grief, life is not always just and if you can find it inside you to simply accept this fact and continue living, it will five you a sense of peace at the very least. If you chose to make someone happy for every sadness you experience in life at the end of the day you will not walk away with nothing - no matter what you lose you have that satisfaction. Unless of course, you are too self centered to even be able to value that feeling.
Worst Kept Secrets of Maldives...
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Number One
Everyone sleeps around. When it comes out its such a big deal. When someones bf sneaks into her room, or when someone sneaks out in the middle of the night or hides away in some deep dark corner somewhere you are to assume that they were reciting holy Quran. Unless caught in the act - then you are to act very, very shocked. And very very ashamed. If you are to hear about you must, by all means gasp loudly and condemn such disgusting promiscuity and lack of religiousness or whatever. Of course, you're going to go home, meet your someone and do the same thing, but hey, that's different.
Whilst on the subject I'd like to just mention that there are no REAL birth control or abortion choices available (unless you're married, pretty much all you can get is rubber, which is pretty usless and lots of people are latex intolerant by the way, and there is the whole you don't want anyone you know seeing you buy it and thats hard to do when you're avoiding basically the whole country).
You could blame it on religious, cultural stigma. I think yeah, of course there's that too but I think it's mostly to do with the male dominant society. Come on girls, every frikking grown man is SO freaking SUPRISED no actually, SHOCKED if you talk about even the possibility of pregnancy (innit?) it's like they don't realise that when you make babies, eventually you make babies :P ... LOL yes boys, sex does equal pregancy - a lot of the time!
Number Two
Every businessman (and many others from the baby boomer generation) drinks and probably has smoked up or does smoke up. Of course they preach holy verses to their liberated children (and yes, they were the ones that actually fought for that freedom) about control and how to conduct themselves... and the children grow up to be a well, not children anymore (again SHOCK, SUPRISE) and their brains DO eventually start to FUNCTION and they come to REALISE that their parents are pretty much the SAME. Thus they also follow in the same footsteps and the damned parents have the NERVE to COMPLAIN. So basically just about every teenager especially from educated parents(:P) smokes up, drinks or both. In the event that you come across an intoxicated Maldivian you are expected to make polite conversation and pretend that you do not notice (some of many):
(a) the highly obvious and somewhat nauseating stench
(d) that he/she/it/they has a bottle coke in his hand but the liquid is orange in colour
(c) that you and your friend are speaking different languages
(d) that your friend apparently has three cigarrettes with him and they are all of different shapes, sizes and colours
(e) that your friend is on top of someone that is definitely not his/her spouse
ETC, ETC
Number Three
This is my last since I've realised I might just go on till forever. Nobody tells the truth about anything. We speak for effect and it's like speech is simply what we would like you to believe. What really goes on is damn obvious so the only way we can save our pride is simply, to pretend that everything is just hunky dory. So, if you're in Maldives, I advise you that honesty is really not the best policy in fact I should steer clear of it if I were you - you gonna get totally screwed.
Save being a good person for elsewhere. Think of it like this - you are in rural, uncivilized, barbaric lands. Its not about morality, it's about survival.
*Sigh. I love my homeland.*
Everyone sleeps around. When it comes out its such a big deal. When someones bf sneaks into her room, or when someone sneaks out in the middle of the night or hides away in some deep dark corner somewhere you are to assume that they were reciting holy Quran. Unless caught in the act - then you are to act very, very shocked. And very very ashamed. If you are to hear about you must, by all means gasp loudly and condemn such disgusting promiscuity and lack of religiousness or whatever. Of course, you're going to go home, meet your someone and do the same thing, but hey, that's different.
Whilst on the subject I'd like to just mention that there are no REAL birth control or abortion choices available (unless you're married, pretty much all you can get is rubber, which is pretty usless and lots of people are latex intolerant by the way, and there is the whole you don't want anyone you know seeing you buy it and thats hard to do when you're avoiding basically the whole country).
You could blame it on religious, cultural stigma. I think yeah, of course there's that too but I think it's mostly to do with the male dominant society. Come on girls, every frikking grown man is SO freaking SUPRISED no actually, SHOCKED if you talk about even the possibility of pregnancy (innit?) it's like they don't realise that when you make babies, eventually you make babies :P ... LOL yes boys, sex does equal pregancy - a lot of the time!
Number Two
Every businessman (and many others from the baby boomer generation) drinks and probably has smoked up or does smoke up. Of course they preach holy verses to their liberated children (and yes, they were the ones that actually fought for that freedom) about control and how to conduct themselves... and the children grow up to be a well, not children anymore (again SHOCK, SUPRISE) and their brains DO eventually start to FUNCTION and they come to REALISE that their parents are pretty much the SAME. Thus they also follow in the same footsteps and the damned parents have the NERVE to COMPLAIN. So basically just about every teenager especially from educated parents(:P) smokes up, drinks or both. In the event that you come across an intoxicated Maldivian you are expected to make polite conversation and pretend that you do not notice (some of many):
(a) the highly obvious and somewhat nauseating stench
(d) that he/she/it/they has a bottle coke in his hand but the liquid is orange in colour
(c) that you and your friend are speaking different languages
(d) that your friend apparently has three cigarrettes with him and they are all of different shapes, sizes and colours
(e) that your friend is on top of someone that is definitely not his/her spouse
ETC, ETC
Number Three
This is my last since I've realised I might just go on till forever. Nobody tells the truth about anything. We speak for effect and it's like speech is simply what we would like you to believe. What really goes on is damn obvious so the only way we can save our pride is simply, to pretend that everything is just hunky dory. So, if you're in Maldives, I advise you that honesty is really not the best policy in fact I should steer clear of it if I were you - you gonna get totally screwed.
Save being a good person for elsewhere. Think of it like this - you are in rural, uncivilized, barbaric lands. Its not about morality, it's about survival.
*Sigh. I love my homeland.*
I'm only happy when it rains...~~~
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Life can really really suck sometimes. For absolutely no apparent reason. Me and friends recently formed a group 'Got Screwed'... and we are the sorriest bunch of females I have ever met. Bright, young and full of potential but very totally, incredibly hopeless. Sad facts of life.
I bet no one can really tell how alone each of us are, in some way or another, we are desperate for salvation, and yet we are the furthest of where we can be from it. Amazing I find.
Anyway midst our highly pointless male bashing sessions, it just occured to me. I'm only happy when everything in life sucks. Bad things I expect and I can deal with, it's happiness that really scares me. I'm afraid I'll get addicted to happiness. What if I really crave happiness... My motivation, who knows what lengths that could drive me to?
Whatever.
Another thought... sadness. What can it do to us... We all feel sad I feel, but no one really feels any sympathy. Sympathy is a lie humans came up with to hide their selfish natures, it is the creation of politics within society. Sympathy my friends, is just a mind game.
What I'm saying here is that no one really cares how you feel. They simply want something somehow out of you. They say they like you're hair, maybe they just want to touch it...maybe its more complex and they just want to touch and feel you. They want you to like them and think that someone other than your mother actually cares. The compliment and how happy it makes you - is really none of their concern. They don't give two fucks.
You tell them you're scared how you'll feel when you see him, speak to him.. they say "yeah, thats so sad, we feel bad, dont go mad" - all they are really thinking is something along the lines of "shut up you stupid bitch, and stop whining!"
So why do we talk to each other? I think all the information we exchange with one another is because we have some manipulative purpose hidden away within it, sitting right in the back of our minds. Scary but true. Sincerity, honesty and honor are stupid concepts humans invented and attempted to apply, as part of tryin to prove to themselves that they were of superior intelligence to other beings. Which of course, is far from the truth.
Don't make mistakes by being loving. Act like a total ass... because there is no such thing a loving. There's just that one chord - wanting something.
Seriously, don't be and eye/ear sore. Shut up and smile.
I bet no one can really tell how alone each of us are, in some way or another, we are desperate for salvation, and yet we are the furthest of where we can be from it. Amazing I find.
Anyway midst our highly pointless male bashing sessions, it just occured to me. I'm only happy when everything in life sucks. Bad things I expect and I can deal with, it's happiness that really scares me. I'm afraid I'll get addicted to happiness. What if I really crave happiness... My motivation, who knows what lengths that could drive me to?
Whatever.
Another thought... sadness. What can it do to us... We all feel sad I feel, but no one really feels any sympathy. Sympathy is a lie humans came up with to hide their selfish natures, it is the creation of politics within society. Sympathy my friends, is just a mind game.
What I'm saying here is that no one really cares how you feel. They simply want something somehow out of you. They say they like you're hair, maybe they just want to touch it...maybe its more complex and they just want to touch and feel you. They want you to like them and think that someone other than your mother actually cares. The compliment and how happy it makes you - is really none of their concern. They don't give two fucks.
You tell them you're scared how you'll feel when you see him, speak to him.. they say "yeah, thats so sad, we feel bad, dont go mad" - all they are really thinking is something along the lines of "shut up you stupid bitch, and stop whining!"
So why do we talk to each other? I think all the information we exchange with one another is because we have some manipulative purpose hidden away within it, sitting right in the back of our minds. Scary but true. Sincerity, honesty and honor are stupid concepts humans invented and attempted to apply, as part of tryin to prove to themselves that they were of superior intelligence to other beings. Which of course, is far from the truth.
Don't make mistakes by being loving. Act like a total ass... because there is no such thing a loving. There's just that one chord - wanting something.
Seriously, don't be and eye/ear sore. Shut up and smile.
Home not so sweet home
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I have come to the conclusion that Maldivians are the most complicated creatures on the planet. Male' it seems, is a biological experiment gone wrong, like God just decided to put too many people in a tiny remote place and see what happens. Seriously... the incest, the lack of extracurricular activity (and space), the pure idiocy of it all...
Proves - that fucking cousins does not lead to retarded children. They are just as likely (if not more) with non relations. Also proves - that women are just as sexually active and motivated as men.
Furthermore - Humans just dont really give a fuck about other humans
AND YET...
The majority of the population are in deep denial of these realities (just to name a few)
It irks me, all these complications that people create for themselves. You know theres the depressant, who constantly says bad things are gonna happen to him/her (usually a her) and they are unloved, that they will never be loved. They repeat this so often it becomes engraved in their minds and that of everyone else. Then they complain when it comes true. 'See I said I'd get screwed'...jeez, you keep reminding your subconcious you suck every two seconds man... of course you're depressed and it aint a turn on either. No wonder your life is messed up, nobody wants to be around you!
And then you have the gossip (who is just every where all the time and you can't really escape)... who will not shut up about every one on the face of Earth (hello, we do not care, nor do we want to know) and what they have been up to (honestly, let me enjoy my lunch!)... and claims to know everybody personally (but not one of these so called celebs seem to recognise this particular mother fucker) and.. the best part - this gossip person, is of course Mother Theresa/Mahatma Ghandi... or whomever actually.
Ze drama queen, who has so many problems and simply has to upstage everyone elses stories even if the only reason they are sharing their troubles is to try and make this person feel better. By far the hardest to understand. Will dig up old problems when running low on creativity. May induce murder. Should be date 'gangster' - he'd inspire her enough and more.
And then the great partyer who is the expert on alcohol and drugs (just all his contacts are always busy man and he's kinda tied up with something but will make it up to you with something a whole lot better)... and who just knows everyone who parties (never mind if they act like he is the plague)
The gangster who is so darn involved and who can justify everything in his gang and who thinks with his gang and lives for the gang. Nevermind the fact that his parents slaved for years trying to keep him alive and well. What happened to your freaking identity?? You were born with a name and it did not have two alphabets infront of it. AB James, CD Johnny and EF Jane.. Oooh so coool.. *barfs*
The Hero... who is everyones saviour, who is on amazing terms with all the gangs and has helped out everyone basically, every one is alive because of him and you should feel safe forever because he will always be by your side and he really isn't trying to get into your pants he's just a darn nice guy with principles and what not. Nevermind that he's barely a foot tall and runs away when 'gangster' with all his alphabetic partners comes along. You can really rely on this dude, ask anyone man. Usually pretends to have connections with the police (I aint never gonna get busted kinda bullshit should be anticipated)
My personal favourite? The stoner who sits and stones and just escapes from the madness that we call home. Guess what? THC aint addictive so... we can just smoke up every night buddy.. yeah... Jamaica is on the other side of the world but we are just right there, I mean it has a fucking high crime rate, and it is a stinky place... but that's where we wanna be because Bob Marley's like.. my dad. :P This one is cooler than 'ganster' and 'hero', coz he fuels the fight and just can't be arsed to show. (Deal gadi kataafaane)... Buro I'm listening to reggae.. Jah!
The cool one who makes fun of everyone else and comes up with stupid theories and blogs about it all the time because it truth this person has nothing better to do with his or her life and is trying to justify his or her sad existence to the world. Or the country. Or actually... this little coffee table is good enough. LOL
*giggle*
Not that I'm any better than these lovelies.. but just place them all at the same coffee or whatever.. and amusement is bound to happen man.. seriously...
And in such a teensy weensy place.. it is not very hard to do!
Ah well, *deep breath* I shall fuck off to dreamland now. Toodles :)
Proves - that fucking cousins does not lead to retarded children. They are just as likely (if not more) with non relations. Also proves - that women are just as sexually active and motivated as men.
Furthermore - Humans just dont really give a fuck about other humans
AND YET...
The majority of the population are in deep denial of these realities (just to name a few)
It irks me, all these complications that people create for themselves. You know theres the depressant, who constantly says bad things are gonna happen to him/her (usually a her) and they are unloved, that they will never be loved. They repeat this so often it becomes engraved in their minds and that of everyone else. Then they complain when it comes true. 'See I said I'd get screwed'...jeez, you keep reminding your subconcious you suck every two seconds man... of course you're depressed and it aint a turn on either. No wonder your life is messed up, nobody wants to be around you!
And then you have the gossip (who is just every where all the time and you can't really escape)... who will not shut up about every one on the face of Earth (hello, we do not care, nor do we want to know) and what they have been up to (honestly, let me enjoy my lunch!)... and claims to know everybody personally (but not one of these so called celebs seem to recognise this particular mother fucker) and.. the best part - this gossip person, is of course Mother Theresa/Mahatma Ghandi... or whomever actually.
Ze drama queen, who has so many problems and simply has to upstage everyone elses stories even if the only reason they are sharing their troubles is to try and make this person feel better. By far the hardest to understand. Will dig up old problems when running low on creativity. May induce murder. Should be date 'gangster' - he'd inspire her enough and more.
And then the great partyer who is the expert on alcohol and drugs (just all his contacts are always busy man and he's kinda tied up with something but will make it up to you with something a whole lot better)... and who just knows everyone who parties (never mind if they act like he is the plague)
The gangster who is so darn involved and who can justify everything in his gang and who thinks with his gang and lives for the gang. Nevermind the fact that his parents slaved for years trying to keep him alive and well. What happened to your freaking identity?? You were born with a name and it did not have two alphabets infront of it. AB James, CD Johnny and EF Jane.. Oooh so coool.. *barfs*
The Hero... who is everyones saviour, who is on amazing terms with all the gangs and has helped out everyone basically, every one is alive because of him and you should feel safe forever because he will always be by your side and he really isn't trying to get into your pants he's just a darn nice guy with principles and what not. Nevermind that he's barely a foot tall and runs away when 'gangster' with all his alphabetic partners comes along. You can really rely on this dude, ask anyone man. Usually pretends to have connections with the police (I aint never gonna get busted kinda bullshit should be anticipated)
My personal favourite? The stoner who sits and stones and just escapes from the madness that we call home. Guess what? THC aint addictive so... we can just smoke up every night buddy.. yeah... Jamaica is on the other side of the world but we are just right there, I mean it has a fucking high crime rate, and it is a stinky place... but that's where we wanna be because Bob Marley's like.. my dad. :P This one is cooler than 'ganster' and 'hero', coz he fuels the fight and just can't be arsed to show. (Deal gadi kataafaane)... Buro I'm listening to reggae.. Jah!
The cool one who makes fun of everyone else and comes up with stupid theories and blogs about it all the time because it truth this person has nothing better to do with his or her life and is trying to justify his or her sad existence to the world. Or the country. Or actually... this little coffee table is good enough. LOL
*giggle*
Not that I'm any better than these lovelies.. but just place them all at the same coffee or whatever.. and amusement is bound to happen man.. seriously...
And in such a teensy weensy place.. it is not very hard to do!
Ah well, *deep breath* I shall fuck off to dreamland now. Toodles :)
Re: Last Post
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My previous post (now removed), was not written to judge those who were genuinely mourning a loss but rather to those who are not involved who are faking connections to seem cool and I don't know what else.
I apologise for attacking a sensitive issue.
To my readers specifically : Freedom of speech maybe, but then there's the matter of respect.
Mi post mee meeheh dheke birakun, mee heh russan, noonee meeheh kairin ehen evves etcheh expect koggen Rae liyun etcheh noon, but because I felt I was in the wrong.
SO... yeah... sorry again to all those grieving, and I'm very sorry for your loss.
I hope you see justice served.
I apologise for attacking a sensitive issue.
To my readers specifically : Freedom of speech maybe, but then there's the matter of respect.
Mi post mee meeheh dheke birakun, mee heh russan, noonee meeheh kairin ehen evves etcheh expect koggen Rae liyun etcheh noon, but because I felt I was in the wrong.
SO... yeah... sorry again to all those grieving, and I'm very sorry for your loss.
I hope you see justice served.
Asleep Awake
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People don't comment on writing unless it's about sex, politics or drugs. :P
Just my observation for today.
Had a procedure involving anaesthesia today... still a bit dizzy! LOL
LEGALLY HIGH! Whoppeeee!
:P
Craziness...
I planned to write a fantastic, thought provoking, great blog but I realised that I am just totally blank. Bll...
So I shall space out once more.
Ciao, have a good day everyone.
Just my observation for today.
Had a procedure involving anaesthesia today... still a bit dizzy! LOL
LEGALLY HIGH! Whoppeeee!
:P
Craziness...
I planned to write a fantastic, thought provoking, great blog but I realised that I am just totally blank. Bll...
So I shall space out once more.
Ciao, have a good day everyone.
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