Dhe loa ves tholheny...

ksuad;laiu;lfh jaskdl ahsldi askh fpoa ldjas ;f lkasdfjA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miadhakee balaa veri dhuvaheh!!!!
I'm soooo fucking frustrated!!!!!!!!
I just wrote a huge blog... and deleted the whole fucking thing.
I was the proud owner of a gorgeous limited 2006 edition spider zippo for fifteen minutes. And then it got stolen out of my fucking bag which was on my shoulder the entire fucking time!
I just came from an amazing-forever-gonna-be-unforgettable-full-of-love-and-excitement-once-in-a-lifetime-kinda-crazy-effing-mad-hilarious-and-wonderful-anyway-too-good-to-be-true one week holiday in Maldives. Aah!
Where by the by, I have managed to loose 24 000 Mrf worth in cash and goods. Lets see, it began with my Raybans, followed by my best friend's Raybans (from inside my house) and two other peoples 1500 in cash, my Ipod... within the two weeks prior to my departure I had successfully lost my phone and my wallet.
No I am not blond, nor am I blind, no am I careless! It is a fucking curse. I'm not even kidding. Did you happen to catch the Narnia flick? Exactly. My bag and my room are portholes to another galaxy/parallel world/whatever... and my stuff keeps swapping itself across time and space without my knowledge. AAAAAAAA! If I also happen to 'Kuljaaaa Sim Sim' (ie : vanish) into thin air, please follow suit and jump into my bag.
Uhu! Uhu... Uhu... Uhhhuuhhh... *kukuranee*... 'koki dhewa wa nee'..WAAAAAAAH!
Fucking bad luck. *sticks bottom lip about err... aaa ... couple of feet atleast)
But like I said 'twas so damn cool :)
I saw my girrrrrrrrrls... the desperate housewives... the snail, the frog, the chicken and the cow... LOL *moooo* ... the sex in the city chicks... the powerpuff girls (PLUS moooojo jojo!) *LMAO*

- dhivehi anhenunnakee zamaan feshuneessuren ves dhunfathu ge ishthiumaalu furihama ah kuranmun anna baeh (hence the gud gudaa) , we are just carrying on the tradition -
Aaah... we had Furt's bday celebration for about 24 hours... lol... I didn't sleep the entire week actually... oh so much fucking fun :) , kihineh nidhaanee... too many fucking things to do on my agenda...

-Theyo Rah-
And I'm an auntie too...I've a picture of my darling whale (the mother)...but not of the baby boy (sooo saad!!!! always in the nursery when I go, maybe the idea of meeting me makes the kiddo sick :s :( ) .... lol... Farata's baby little farata...or should I call him Naan? Maybe Roti Channai??? Anyway I chose the name! Yay! It's cool... first boy to see light of day for years and years in our family, so everyone is so thrilled. Sick of seeing pink I reckon.
I saw my little girl too...Sooo big now. Thinks she's even bigger. Silly girl can spell my name and hers... proud one I am. I know. *ruffles feathers*
Did a lil swimming...saw a lot of eye candy... it's like Male' keeps breeding more and more of hot guys... :) didn't go out too much... the usual cycle rides and coffees.... and visits to family...
Speaking of which I met up with my darling bro after a long time, the one who was in hiding in the land of transexuals (Thailand) and plastic surgery...he came with a few pieces of art and metals poking out, but other than that, looks and seems human. Was wonderful to catch up and laugh out guts out again :) *mwahs* ... Was lovely to RE-Bond *chuckles* with step bro too... ditto for friends specially Termite... ;)
Oh yeah but no answer to the pending questions although they've been marked down to just one very significant query... what to do though? Maybe I should just lean back and enjoy the moment rather than occupy more time and energy into analyzing what I should be revelling in... too young to worry and I mean it!
Jeez... the whole worlds problems are due to men. You... Me... the war in Iraq...
Tsk tsk...

Don't look back in anger - I heard them say...

I want to make this a cheerful post after such a long break... and hopefully I will soon enough actually post Langkawi trip pics and all the fun I had there. But this week is just too depressing, I don't have the energy to reminisce on happier days. At first I thought it was the withdrawals from a amazing holiday but now I just know its life itself. Happy thoughts! :/
I like Malaysia, I am grateful for the nice, easy life I am living.
It's just that when I moved here, I thought things would get better and easier to deal with or handle.. but it just seems like things are catching up with me again. No it's not college, nor is it studies. There is just some things about my life that I cant seem to de-traumatise myself from and get over. I know I can't keep running and hiding forever but it feels like a near impossibility that I will actually manage to banish the little men running around in my head.
Now I sound retarded. Jeez, maybe I actually am.
I constantly try to act like nothing in my life bothers me. A lot of it doesn't like I don't reprimand people for little negative gestures they say and do (like some peopel obsess over the way he or she SAID something), but then it gets to a point where I think maybe they are trying to tell me something about myself that is irritating and I'm just not getting it... then I progress to fully-fledged paranoia.
Thats when it comes to friends.
When it comes to guys and the whole other picture, things are even more fucked up. I know, how the fuck is that possible. But hey, apparently it is. I just can't seem to let go and let loose, it's a bit like I have this permanent pole up my arse... (metaphor for being uptight -- NOT that I'm anal-ly inclined, God you people - such dirty minds!)
I need to let go of so much baggage and move ahead and open up to new, brighter and greener pastures right? But I just can't and I don't know why. I've tried summing it down to one signle person or event but I can't - must be a pile up of the residue...
If I was some body else, I wouldn't be my friend. I would find myself too irritating. I don't like me anymore. So they tell me, if I don't like me, who will? To which I'd have to say, well that certainly explains a lot.
I tried to sit down and actually draw a map on a A4 paper of what bothers me. But I ended up scribbling flowers and marijuana leaves and cursing instead. So back to square one. Why the hell am I sooo DOWNNNN :(~~~~
I don't even feel like mingling these days, and that for some one as social as me, is just plain wierd. I'd rather sit at the pc and do nothing substancial. Or just pack away, I'm eating more than four meals a day. And I get tired easy. And I'n moody.
Fuck, now I sound like I'm preganant.
Oh my love life has been tooo SUCKY for that to even come CLOSE to a possibilty. How friggin sad is that. Pathetic. I need to accept that somethings just gotta remain as the past, or just friends and that not every one will be mean...and that different is still okay.
Why is it all so easy to put on paper... and so very hard to carry out in reality? Tsk... I always failed practicals...

Flashback to CNY!

If you have a musical soul you need to listen to this 22 year old pianist I've been obsessed with for a while now, his name is Maksim...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9FuJXvI9Uz4&mode=related&search=
Just watch that for starters, my favourite is still his 'Flight of the Bumblebee'

I just had the most amazing one week in Langkawi during Chinese New Year, met lots of new people and had a crazzzyyyy time with my new African friends... *yay!* ... I'll up some nice pics soon as I can.

The beaches are say... Kuda Bandos - Villingili standard, but I'll take what I can get and the atmosphere was perfect anyways, I just can't complain it was too good. The parties were nice... I fell in love with Reggae Bar... *sigh* I know so many friends who would seriously freak out there, SO SO FUCKING FUN!

But it got me homesick as well...The whole idea of waking up late, jogging to the beach, scream/sing/try to sing - ing and acting like 5 year olds... *aww*

LOL One Somalian guy we were with sang a gorgeous rendition of You're Beautiful and butchered the whole melody, James Blunt would be reduced to tears with this. It goes something like 'you're beautiful... I saw an angel, he was walking in the window, he wanted to give me a blow job, he had a pink dick'. The pink dick mentioned in the above paragraph (I'm trying to make bullshit sound intellectual here, gimme a break aite?) is in reference to the 'mystery of the missing vibrating condom' which SOMEONE bought and SOMEONE used (by the way on himself...) ROFL... It was a KrAxY trip indeed.

But thou shalt forgive thy drunken and high friends... ;) it was sooo fun and funny and I had the funnest time in a long long time..

We were such an international group... Somalian, Kenyan, Tanzanian, Maldivian, Indonesian... and met up with Americans, Swedish, Dubai people... heheh! Was cool. Plenty of eye - candy girls, and the possibility of wearing anything and nobody would know or care and just felt very liberated. Didn't even have phone or any other modern device. Me, clothes (sarongs and such), a lil cash and the great guitar.
Dhathuru dhiya meehun ge adhadhu : 11 ... 6 girls and 5 guys
Duration : About 4 days....
Fahaga kohlevey kanthah: I lost my phone a few hours before we left
Mode of Transport: Bus and ferry. There were so many poeple that our first trip was on 'Bus Sekolah'... Sniff sniff... But it got all better including VIP rooms after that...

LOLZ... lets just say it was a week to remember!