Three little wishes...

I wish I may I wish I might...

I wish I was a lesbian. I wish I could just turn in to one.
"Sorry bratha, I like gurrrrls"
See, the end solution.
Oh I fucking wish it was so easy.
I wish there were answers to all the problems.
FACT: AINT THERE.
I wish I could at least answer all the ringing questions in my head though. They've been circling around my head so long, so much... you'd think my brain was a fucking solar system man.
(Zero gravity! LOL)

I wish people understood that just because I can go out tonight despite having been told something awful or finding out something traumatic. My heart is not made of stone. I simply distract easier, I know and understand how my capabilities work when it comes to thinking about other things. In that sense it's actually equally confusing to me how you can sit at home all day and wallow in self pity and cry all night over something that you cannot solve in such a manner. I don't judge that, it's your way of dealing I suppose, but I just I don't know, I've been there done that and in the long term, at least for me, it just doesn't work. I can cry and laugh 15 minutes later, but it's not completely gone from my heart and soul, quite the opposite, I bury it so deep I too forget about it until one fine day it'll all erupt and the process will begin once more. Yeah, that is a totally different problem altogether.

Wishes… funny thing they are, we wish and we wish against our wish. Lol… but one must wish… I wish people would see the reason I don’t trolley my pain in front of me wherever I go. I have my reasons not to cause other people distress simply because I have difficulties dealing with my life. It’s okay…

It’s okay because at least I don’t carry around extra baggage like jealousy, deceit, resentment and fury. I can be mad as hell because you forgot my birthday, but I’ll blow the steam off and it’ll be okay. I wont pent up and kill you one fine day. It’s not your fault you don’t harbor the same feelings I do and that is okay. You know? Some people just go on meaningless rampages to satisfy this insane pain that really is … going to fade away in time and nothing can accelerate or decelerate that. You must have hope, although it is humanities biggest lie… One must have faith that tomorrow shall be better than today or we can just line up and shoot each other. Hope maybe a word with no real direction but it’s the one force that will save your sanity.

Even those who do not have faith have faith. Atheists have faith in the fact that there is no faith. Nah sounds ridiculous maybe but this is true. They do find comfort in the fact that they will not be judged. I wish people would see that the point is not about whether we have after lives or not, I mean believe what you must but the real point is to behave as though you would be judged. It is not a limitation to have to be a part of a society and to function as you are one… you are not to conform to the idiocies of preference but merely adhere to the live and let live theoretical perspective. I have the strength to move on simply because I know I can. I have belief that some higher power is at work because clearly everything is not in my hands thus I don’t have the urge to control everything around me. At least not today. Been there done that. Best advice: Give up, it’s a lost battle.

Wishing wishing… wishing people could see the brighter side of life and not blame each other always. No one is obligated to doing anything. No one can be expected to be anything. Change is inevitable. Acceptance is key… Let go of your regrets, it will not change anything; it will keep you from moving on. For God sake, people are people… we can only be human… there is hardly anything you cannot forgive! Trivial matters are a waste of your time, energy… so just simply grow out of it….

I wish men would understand that a piece of moving metal (be it a bike or a flashy car... or a fucking jet for fucks sake) or a slice of plastic (Visa, MasterCard, HSBC, whatever - and I don't give a shit whether it's blue or gold or platinum or glow in the dark for that matter) does not amount to anything. Demeaning a woman even if she is your ex is not funny and it does not make YOU moralistic to call someone else a slut, calling a good looking guy gay does not make you masculine, calling a talkative guy lame does not make you macho... it just makes me wonder - why should you even care? Especially scorning an ex is pathetic, disrespectful and even scary - are you over her?? Will you say the same about me??? ... And telling me you are a virgin... hell let's not even go there. It should be obvious why it's no turn on. Another thing - lay off the porn lines "You like it baby? Yeah you like it?" ... oh shut up and go away...

More women should stop pressurizing men to be stupid... Show them that respect, honesty is more valued. Accepting his lame excuses when he hits you constantly is not teaching him about respect. He does not acknowledge that he is been given a second chance by someone who loves him - he simply sees you as a pushover piece of meat. I hate to be so brutal, but that’s the honest truth a lot of girls fail to see in cheaters etc. Why put up with disrespect or dishonesty? I wish more women would teach a man the value of good manners, honesty, intelligent conversation and an effort at least towards a sense of humor. That will last you a lifetime, when you're 50 his abs won't matter, his car might decrease in value, he could go bankrupt and maybe he won't be the hotshot he sounded like... but if you can sit down when you're sixty something and still laugh together, now that would amount to something.

In a way I know that’s a bit hypocritical of me to say, but I’ve learnt from experience that excuses are just not worth dishing out.

I wish all my wishes would come true.
No I don’t! LOL
Careful what you wish for they say.
I don’t wish for much… heheh, or don't I now?