So we've all heard it... damsels in distress, prince charmings and frikkin' magic castles. The fairytale... since I was a kid... in typical girl fashion, I have to admit, I've had the dream.
Weirdly enough I've never been bothered to figure out who the villain in my story is. Now though, that I've been faced with slaying the fire breathing dragon... I have face the wicked witch with her steaming cauldron and destroy the curses and spells...
For further clarification, I enquired with the enchanted mirror (naturally)...
Me: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Mirror: The hell if I know. Check people.com? Sorry but it sure ain't you sugar!
Me: Dude, don't you have anything nice to say?
Mirror: Uh... you're no Snow White bitch.
Me: So you wanna talk about skin colour now? Issat it?
Mirror: Charcoal Black. Whatever. You were saying?
Me: Yeah exactly… umm....Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the villain destroying it all?
Mirror: I’m a fucking mirror; do you not see the reflection? What am I, your personal psychiatrist? You’re the ass fuck who’s eating shit, and you want me to name people? Thomangel, why kind of a lame ass pussy name is that? You’re the cause of your own problems.
Me: ?????
(I always hated that story)
Could it be? Am I the villain of my own fairytale?
Certainly seems like it. Man, I'm so sick of myself. I've tried to clean my act up and be the proper daughter, sister, girlfriend... I've gotten pretty far too, or so I thought. But villains must always remain villains right? There is no redemption. They get like, destroyed and shit.
Case point: Dorothy melts the wicked witch of the west, Ariel turns Ursula into a shrimp and Aladdin actually locks up Jafar in a lamp… etcetera
So does that mean I need to try and vaporize myself in order for me to live happily ever after? Seems kind of pointless… So I’ve tried the Prince Charming will solve my problems and let me say, Prince Charming brought about most of ‘em, he ain’t so charming either. Not after you’ve lived together and had to go through the toilet seat should be down not up, and smelly socks go in the laundry, household chores aren’t just the chick’s responsibility (get with the times, we’ve been liberated idiot!) blah blah blah… It is can’t live ‘with or without you’ kind of situation though (thanks for going ahead and singing it Bono *rolls eyes*).
And, FYI in the situation of the wicked step mother, the wicked birth parents can be more of an issue. Ditto for step sisters/brothers. In fact, they could turn out to be much nicer than your blood relatives. MUCH. You may even want to adopt their families and denounce your own.
And the castle… man you grow up and you realize your castle doesn’t quite want you to be in it… and you need to built your own… which of course, more often ends up resembling a broken down shack. And you eat canned tuna for the rest of your life. Hurray! Yippee!
Thank God this shitholes gonna sink.
Screams and screams and pulls out all the frikkin goldy locks (or not) – FUCK happily ever after! Morons.
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8 comments:
rather an unconventional fairytale. Will the wicked witch of the west redeem herself and kiss a frog. I hope not. Villains are best being wicked. Don't change.
Btw check out Dr. Horrible
It's not always happily ever after for the fairy tales either. They just refuse to show what comes after. Most frikkin' "ever afters" only last a few weeks. I find most villians are more interesting than the sappy goodies anyway. As Paperclip said, don't change.
Your post made me realize two things very important.
Firstly, its not just you. we all are the villians in our stories. and i realized that most people dont realize that [insert more psychobabble here]
secondly, i want a mirror that talks like that!! so cool!
maybe its fears n insecurities that u hav.ur not funumentaly flawed
i find your hypothesis both amusing and intriguing.
but if you are looking for a villain other than yourself, im told i make a good one. :D
Hey, when I'm done carrying out the Final Solution (now version 2.0, with upgrades!) people will rather call Adolf Hitler the Mother Theresa of Germany. And Idi Amin will be considered as the Mahatma Gandhi of Africa... AHHAHAHHAAAAHAA!
Iya, buddy - you'll make an awesome villain.
lol.. I'v been sitting here laughing by myself...
as for the fairy tales sure they are infused with too much of sugar but theres always a villain, hence introducing a bit of reality to it..but the thing is these are fairy tales and its a fantasy world and i am an escapist and I love my pink bubble.. as for a villain..do u really need to find one? If you do I think its time.. both a villain and a friend..
p.s I remember seeing a post few days about there being really depressing nursery rhymes the other day.. guess theres no winning with you guys :P
Rae.. I hate how the stupid Disney Princesses always end up with their Prince.. They should dieee.. except Ariel.. she's the shit.. and regarding Goldilocks, dont worry the 3 bears are my boys.. We can settle her nicely HAHAHA!
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