Present Continuous ... Not so perfect afterall...

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Lately I've been really lost in thought. I mean it, I could be in the damned taxi and I'd just go into a whole different world altogether and I lose track of time, date and surrounding totally. Day dreaming I suppose. But very vividly, and it completely transports me somewhere else and I don't have ANY idea of what happened say for example, just then and right infront of me.
Honestly I am beggining to worry myself.
You know, I've realised I have so much of pain and anger and sadness buried inside me... life is not too complicated these days and I can see these emotions resurface and bubbling... the tip of the iceberg maybe... in any case, if I stop fighting, even to catch my breath I just know it will take me down deep with it, a world of dark depression and a cursed solitude.
I miss my old friends, I miss the familiarity... I keep having nagging feelings the world's moving on without me. Childish I know, but I wish I could just place a single finger and make it stop rotating, and spin on my terms... Just a day, on my terms...
Is it worth it? Has the years of friendship been worth it? Will it last? Does it matter? Why... why do I care?
There's two nagging feelings of 'unfinished business' and 'silk binds that are fast unravelling' I keep worrying about... Him and Her! Hehehe... two very special (under normal circumstances) people... with whom I feel a distance growing...
I guess relationships change with time, and everything..."yadi yadi yaa" "bla bla bla" but... I don't know I guess with one of them, I might be expecting no wait, hoping for too much... There's a fine line seperating friendship and the dangerzone - once you cross the line -- things will never be the same...
Oh there are some things in life you can never stop regretting...

3 comments:

~ange|~ said...

"the only person whom we can change is ourselves" said sumone....n i guess its true... we can never cahnge anyone if we want to adjust we have to learn to accept ppl as they r n move on...
dun be so harsh on urself...
tc

Anonymous said...

hey cuz...i agree with angel dont be so harsh on ya self. u gotta move on sooner or later dho. love monkey

Kaainaath said...

Him and Her ha? Trust is easily broken and hard to get back!

So start preaching it!

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