In response to a silent SOS sent by some 'Single Gals'

Warning. May get a little cheesy. For atleast five girls I know. Because I love ya. And I need to get this off me chest.

Too many women throw themselves into romance because they're afraid of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity. I won't do that.
Julie Delpy

I think that is absolutely totally true. I think a lot of girls grow up making a lot of schedules and plans... and end up with a lot of disappointment and regret. It's not really their fault, they are practically groomed to do so. Honestly, from the age of 5, she's dressing up a Barbie doll and taking it on dates with Ken - it's just a matter of time before she starts whining to Mom about repeating games, with her own real life version.

Follow up to having to marry at a certain age. She meets the a fun guy and he's adorable but shows no signs of settling down and she's worrying about what is to happen so she weds what I like to call the next best thing. A boy that Mummy will like, Daddy won't chase out - steady job, looks alright. The night of her wedding or equivelant) she has a minor panic attack - along the lines of 'wtf am I doinggggg???' , but she decides she's put in too much effort, it's too late to change her mind, she has an obligation and hence forth she ventures into what will blossom into (usually) totally not what she expected.

There comes a stage in her life when she and her husband are sleeping in different beds, possibly with different people... and they are wondering how the hell they ended up this pathetic. They are staying together for their kid who probably hates the fact that his parents are so fucking fucked up. Sigh...
And anyway... the pattern is familiar. Especially in Maldives...

I protest against this. It's one thing to be responsible and ready for it, but you absolutely do not have to fall into this trap either.

Dedicated to my single girl friends...
I talk to you guys all the time, I've no problems with offering my shoulder to cry on or a ear for your issues... but I just wanna say. You're beautiful people. Don't think the whole world is over because one guy is being an asshole. As my loabivaa Ree once said to me - sometimes we just gotta meet some jerks so we can appreciate the prince when he comes along! But having said that...(hehe) there are no real princes... everyone comes with their own quirks... and people make mistakes... and everyone comes from different backgrounds.. so in a relationship, you cant always expect things to go your way.

But most importantly, enjoy being single if you are. The best things happen when you aren't looking for it. I was single for ages before stepping into my current relationship, and it was good you can enjoy your freedom and independance, which is really what you should be doing as young, dynamic women.

There's nothing wrong with being alone(eh, 6 billion on the planet, you can never really be alone :P), you do have friends and you should have other interests (other than guys) or you can always take this time to find such interests. Invest in some quality 'me' time, chances are that the older you get, the less of that you'll have! I know I sound like a bad self-help book... and it's not sympathy here... it's kinda like been there, seen that... and wish you'd sooner realize what I took a long time to. You do NOT need a man to validate you by any means.
Of course being in a relationship by no means involves total submission (thats just sad) but you'll end up having another thing to consider - that's unavoidable and you'll do it unconciously anyway.

And another thing is... you don't have to settle for being the third wheel. You do not have to be pulled into the 'bermuda triangle of love'. You deserve a whole relationship, someone who focuses on you and cares about you enough to know that you ain't some mistress. Some chicks genuinely believe that there are two categories - mistresses and wives. I seriously oppose that, and I hate that people push girls into these stereotypes. Being outgoing and fun is a personality trait and it is no basis to judge on her ability to be a good partner in general. People always blame the other girl, but it's the guy who has to consider the fact that he is already in a relationship with someone else, why does the 'other person' have to be blamed for the deliberate ignorance on the involved persons part.

Point is... get out of your hurtful situations, stand up for yourself, enjoy being you... being I rather than an US. Before my current relationship.. I was more or less single .. for ages! And it hurt, and there were times that I hated it and I hated my self for being in that situation and for being like that. I've been tempted to go out with the nice guys I met but it's just not fair to play on anyone's emotions simply to run away from my own insecurities. Life's just not fair sometimes, I know. But hello... you gotta use that time to make yourself stronger, and it eventually feels a lot better... and then it feels plain ol' gooooood... the key is to get to a place where it doesn't matter whether you're with someone or not... you need to be able to live with yourself first, where you're independent and you know you'll survive. And then, a lover's simply a wonderful bonus...

No such thing as 'everything'. Delete 'what if I had never let you go'. Remove the likes of 'nothings gonna change my love for you'. I will personally throttle you if you play 'lonely'. I hate Akon for coming up with that disaster of a song.
Ditch that bullshit for whatever you like and makes you feel good. Don't be as lame as 'I will survive' though :P. Cuz that's a given, that's gotta happen. Try Natasha Bedingfield's Single.

A BIG BIG BIG MMMWAH.
Girls rock ;)

Edgar Guest...
"Myself"
I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know;
I want to be able as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I've done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don't want to dress myself up in sham.

I never can hide myself from me,
I see what others may never see,
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself -- and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.