The wonderful world of PMS

I am a snob
I am bad tempered and what's worse, short tempered
I am selfish
And usually I tried to cover up these less than attractive attributes of mine, (much like everybody else - Eh, if you wanna go ahead and claim to be some sickly sweet, unselfish, un-judgemental person, you need to be treated by a psychologist for being dillusional, in denial and being, basically dumb) today I am so utterly and totally FED UP that I shall just rampage ahead and display them in full, blatant GLORY.
No I refuse to wash the fucking dishes today, I refuse to lift a finger
I may or may not spend this month's rent money on a spa package - eviction, what's eviction, big words for big boys.. I don't wanna think about it, so THERE
I feel like complaining about all the fucking pretty young little sluts roaming around the streets and messing up my game. HMPH...
I will NOT answer the phone if I don't like your name
And I shall throttle you, murder you, hang you from my balcony, beat you up with a rolling pin, steal your rubber ducky... exactly if I wish to (goodbye good manners, any trace of morality and ethics and sayonara to my inhibitions) - just be glad it's through super poke. :P
I will pig out on all sorts of sweet things in hope of a sugar rush making me smile (Because I'm worth it - and FUCK YOU Lo'real, y'all are fucking liars that promise blond and dish out green), and I will ignore the fact that my little pouch is now a significant bulge.
If you want to remind me about my roundeity, I will kill you. Make no mistake. I will mother fucking CASTRATE you.
Infact, if you are a man and you value your balls, I suggest for the next seven days you stay away from me. Far, far away from me.
I am celebrating being a woman - yeah baby don't you fucking feel happy for me?
Can I get a woohoo?
Ah, I'm a fucking star bitch, when you see me - make a wish!