Secrets

Life is a mystery...
Every one must stand alone...
When you call my name
It's like a little prayer....
I hear voice
It's an angel sighing...
Feels like flying
I close my eyes
Oh god I think I'm falling...
Heaven help me...

I look forward to life again.
Even if it means being alone, even if it means getting hurt again. Even if it means seeing his face and hearing voice. I look forward to the rest of my life. Although I may not have the people I imagined around me... Although my rocks today may dissipate tomorrow...

Walking home today, I saw the most beautiful baby... Sun shining down on her perfect face... and it hit me. I have so much more of life to experience. I might feel exhausted by everything I face, and overwhelmed the world I have to accept as my own. There's a reason we are all here though, I mean... Duh right... but it really just hit me as in "hit me" today...

Blonde yes? Dumb yes? But true anyway. So I'm a slow child... it doesn't really matter right? I know people who live entire lives simply skipping by simple realities.

Back to my gibberish... Seeing that child just pushed a button I no longer think even existed inside me... Little delicate muse! In a very different way. It reminded me that no matter what darkness I might have surrounded myself with, light can never be so far away. If I waited it out, if I kept reaching, I could it have it in my arms too...

So I say... I look forward to living my life, as me. Despite the troubles I can already envision, I chose to see the perhaps-blurrier-but-definitely-there rays of absolute happiness that I know I can feel again.