The latest 'notch'

Life is full about experiences.
I've been given, or rather gifted, quite generously in life and until recently I don't think I've ever stopped to really appreciate the blessing.
Every relationship is different. I mean every one's pretty unique, so it makes sense that the bridges one bulilds with them are equally diverse, though of course with general similarities shared.
Recently I've had the chance to give, give, give some more and really see how committing wholly feels... I mean, timewise/peoplewise/ - in a way, experiment whether I'm ready to change my lifestyle to accomodate someone else...
What did I learn? *lol* not much... Things I already knew were brought into sharper focus I suppose; how much I can tolerate, what I expect from my partner (sounds a bit gay dho ehen jeheema? :P ) ... mainly I guess I learnt that you can change what a person does... but you can't change who they are or what they want... whether the person is you or me... and attempts to do so will only result in greater pain...
I've tried... I loved... and I guess I lost,... but it was a loosing battle I was fighting...
Against myself...
Against him...
I was looking for acceptance. Since we've been through the same kinds of pain, I thought it would suffice as common ground. We're very different and our experiences though somewhat similar, affected us in different ways... so... ultimately... some things are just not possible...
I think... I don't know... Did I do the right thing?
Ultimately my priorities are set as so, because 'I' feel its right, I can pretend it is not so, but I can't keep pretending to be someone I'm not... because the person I am isn't worthless dho? Dho? Tha?... Hm...
I guess I feel like I'm compromising too much of me... and me and 'the guy' don't seem to be able to communicate on this particular issue... different wavelengths and all...
Oh woe is me :P !

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