I could’ve just written a comment back but I’ve been thinking about this today so here are a few words to you…
Why do I write in this stupid blog that about 5 people read (or less?)
Well originally it wasn’t meant for any one to read…
I write because it is one of the very few things in life I have a passion for…
You see, I am one of those people who is for lack of better phrasing, socially handicapped… I cannot express my feelings… I cannot show emotions physically or verbally… it has to be in writing… in music… in art…
I can’t draw to save my life… and music can be vague… not to mention I’d rather not be responsible for broken guitars, slashed drums and the complaints from next door…
So I write…
I write because I am the sort of person who cannot tell someone how much I care about them… I can’t even tell a guy I like him, much less that I am in love with him and over the years I have lost so much over this ‘deformity’.
Maybe I’m being dramatic, maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion but I cannot even tell my own mother when I am hurting…
Rather than throw tantrums, act moody and drive everyone around me insane I’d rather write my fears, so I can view them… feel detached from them… look at them and imagine it’s someone else ranting, and perhaps find some sort of peace.
Occasionally I invite some friends to this blog. Because I have something I need to express to them… because I desperately need them to understand why I am me… and recently, on a whim to see what happens when I welcome a stranger into my world…
We all have a paranoia about acceptance… it’s human nature… I guess you could say this is my escape from it… or my pleading against it… for it… depends on your perspective…
Why is it online? Because I keep loosing diaries and journals and well google the benefits of blogging…really not interesting in explaining this. Loads of other people blog too. Maybe my blog is more personal? I don’t know why you’re messing with the concept of ‘me’ doing this online.
And about who I wrote to… he knows who he is… and he will let me know his feelings on the matter…
I couldn’t say you are wrong if you said, it was a self-centred bitch complaining about all the insignificant details of her life. That’s your prerogative… and you are entitled to your own opinion.
By the way, I am not welcoming you or any one else to express such a demeaning opinion on my own blog. Thanks very much…
My current expression -
7 comments:
hehee i certainly appareciate what you wrote abt me and you are a cool frend with lot of strentgh umm i know i am anaroxiec but im trying tohelp myself (even now i am eating this disgusting plate of fat)you have the power to be a frend and you area thts great ao wat tht you lack some idiotic talents we areall frends
it was me who wrote the comment at 6:59pm under this post. not that i read it or i like reading your teenagy garbage. but i had a feeling that you were writing this thinking that something in the internet is not seen by the 'public'. you are getting a lot of attention by this. where are you from?
you know you should set up an RSS or ATOM feed on this blog.. it'd be nice for us geeky admirers...
it has always been there. seems like you are not 'geeky' enough to find it out.
http://thomangel.blogspot.com/atom.xml
Hei Anonymous..
It sure doesn't sound to me like you are not interested in reading this 'garbage', since you seem to have found your way back to this blog and also requested for atom feed. So stop making a fool of yourself and find some other means of seeking attention for yourself. You sound like you could do with some. Pakaaaaaas!!
um actually the guy who requested the atom feed and the so called .. whatever he's calling himself.. are totally different.
hehe.. sorry mate!
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