Read Disclaimer Carefully Before Continuing!

Warning. Contains explicit content. Read at your own risk.

I’m serious, don’t read it unless you are sure you will be okay, because I just finished my Economics exam and have decided that my tension release will be highly controversial and perhaps a little outrageous, even for me.

Sigh… reason behind yesterday’s hysteria (I actually later progressed to hiy biru gathun and freaking out and dialing various loved ones and scaring the shit out of them :D ) turned out to be PMS. I know you didn’t have to know that: P but hey… Damn! This is when I wish I were a man.

Song playing in my media player right now – ‘Laid’ by James

Today, rainy and depressing as it was, brought out the librarian/nerd/bookworm side of me and curling up under my snug duvet with a cuppa steaming hot tea (I am in England) and chocolate rollies I made for my self (nope, nope rollies as in bits of bread with spread, folhi eh hen olhaafa!) I chose to read a Black Lace novel, given to me by a friend who was given the book by a woman who is an aunt-like figure to both of us.

So what?

Let me explain. It’s a series of books that contain short-stories, published by Virgin Books (ironically) classic under the genre that is known as erotic literature.

Bit of bondage… pretty nasty and twisted at times… different take from my usual um… well actually I don’t really read anymore unless it’s for lit class… Oh yeah… miles away from John Grisham. Might be interesting for anyone to take a little detour to…

So why did I end up reading this? Hama just was lying there and I had just done Econ STRESSFUL exams so I figured, why not? Just goes to prove that Dhivehi women are just especially promiscuous, and if the rumours are right about Raaje being founded by prostitutes, I’m not too surprised. Seriously, the average Dhivehi woman seems to think about sex a lot more, they live for Mills N Boons and the like, Aminiyans reveal similar thoughts in poor displays of graffiti on the walls… and well plenty more.

Is it the whole jailed bird and resultant built up sexual tension? I doubt it! Women have been pretty liberated in this sense for a long time now. Girls used to wed earlier as well right? Although I’ve heard the tragedies of young sweeties being sold of to rich men, I have heard as many about wantons (personally I prefer the description free and spirited) running away… like Dhon Hiyala.

Isn’t it a 21st Century thing? No way, get your history sorted out. The infamous Rannamaari story, (which roots us to the very origin of culture as we claim it today and also apparently is the connection to the heart of Maldivian lifestyle i.e. Islamic belief) is also a perverse and disturbing tale of ‘someone’ or ‘something’ raping and murdering dozens of young girls. (And to the educated, sophisticated mind of today that would roughly translate to - a perverted freak with a fetish for virgins)

Oooh oooh, Bond Girl and recent star in Pride and Prejudice, Rosamund Pike studied at this fucked up school as well! Who knows… maybe this year will produce another Bond chick *hint hint, wink wink*

Back to my searching (hee hee) and deep questions. Is it genetics? I’d really like to know but science is not my forte, and quite frankly I do not have the patience for it anyway, but if anyone has any thoughts there, I’m interested to know more. Anyway I’m just saying that I don’t know whether it is lack of activity and entertainment but I’ve certainly come to note that Dhivehi anhenun are not only ‘farivefa chaaley’ but highly promiscuous and liberated women. Pity it is primarily in the one sense, they should channel energies into manipulation within fields like politics rather than just the seduction. Am I part of this league of horny women? Paka paka pakaaaaaaas Wouldn’t you like to know? *rofl* :P Nah, we’ll skip that one.

Dinner table conversation today was interesting as well. Economic Markets… now before you doze off at that, it was the male market we focused upon (male audiences may resume dozing ;) ahem…unless you’re inclined this way). Well, summed up it was gaigandakah just this - obviously, demand is excessively high, and supply of new products is less when compared to existing stock, therefore a shortage can be expected to occur. Shortage leads to increased consumption of second hand men.

Men are originally classed as a merit good because it provides satisfaction on various levels and happiness etc, however there are a certain category of men defined as assholes and bastards which are in fact de merit goods as they do nothing but damage and cause severe heartache. In the event of a shortage in the economy, consumption in this area increased rapidly, creating absolute disaster.

Just satisfying the feminist inside me. Grin, grin. I think Oscar Wilde was a feminist… :D and all great men of English Literature are gay. Wilde’s got a fantastic quote which he delivers in ‘A Woman Of No Importance’ via the character Lady Allonby (who is a fakka badi eh) which is … Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.

True na? Sigh… I am such a geek o_0 !!

I wish I had a heart like ‘that guy I had a fling with recently in Male’, simply forget the liaison the next morning… Never hurt, never want for something more meaningful. Life would be a lot less complicated, a lot less unhappy.

I guess it’s a choice we make to give up that perspective, maybe because we realise we will never be whole and utterly satisfied unless we believe, unless we have some sort of hope that someday we will achieve happiness greater than whatever we have in our lives at the moment. The reason to go on? Hm..?

When you’re in your early teens and I’ve gone on about this forever but you know… I just think that what we feel is an illusion fuelled by lots of expectations and dreams fed to us through Bollywood, Hollywood etc, other love-struck kids and that sort of thing… maybe the entire thing is a farce… lol… because whatever it is, we see a glimpse of it in the beginning of every relationship but it just seems to fade away, or we venture into relationships in hopes of finding it, but everything crumbles away when we realise it is not possible.

Or maybe as years go by we fool ourselves into re-establishing the feeling we felt as kids… when we are secure enough and the insecurities that have built over the years reach a point that they don’t really matter anymore… then we lull ourselves into a sort of belief?

Kinda heartbreaking to think that there is nothing to look forward to though. How can such a centuries-old dream be based on mere imagination?

Psst! Brief fantasy … glass room on a lil finolhu in the middle of nowhere, silk sheets, the nights dark but there are a million stars in the sky, mind-blowing sex till sunrise…involving chocolate variations… and the most wonderful guy. Yes I am a romantic and I did say brief! Disappointing eh? Pakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!