Ironies. Follies. And Stupidity.

Kinda all goes hand in hand...
My day was awful.
I had a distant friend turn into suicidal stalker then to vicious enemy hell bent on revenge. I tell you, blood soaked sheets of paper are terrifying. And heartbreaking. No one wants to be the cause of so much pain. Even if other person is a messed up psychotic case.
Anyways, now he is determined to slice and dice me coz I rejected him. *shudder* creepy, you know? Also pathetic. Well... I'll just not walk around alone? What else can I do?
All I know is that it really, really scared me and I hated having to go alone at home.
I also had an EX of mine try to blackmail me for the 100, 000, 000th time and mifaharu I am not, I repeat, NOT giving in regardless of what happens. I know him, I know how much K***** hates to loose and I know without any doubt that he will try hurt me beyond anything I have experienced so far, but I am going to be strong this time. (I sound terrified dho? I am)
If only I had some one to lean on. I hate being lied to. I now how annoyingly paranoid I can be at times but look at the above and decided whether you wouldn't be... I try not to be, but I really cannot help it sometimes. Especially when I like a guy, and a friend of his mentions that he has a girl (well this person thinks so apparently)... you can't help wondering whether you are being played... you know?
And the sms-es drive me insane. I feel so stupid. 0_0
I am sorry if I pushed him away by my stupid questions... but I don't know, the entire day hs prevented brain from functioning anyway. I prolly shouldn't have written this blog but, I'm guessing he won't read this (atleast anytime too soon) anyway.
I wish he would just show up at my doorstep one of these days but yeah, this is reality you're talking about... whatever.