Back in Male’… ‘sin city’… where the worst crime is trusting someone…
But when you’ve taken the chance for example, however stupid it may or may not be, and trusted someone you have never met with intimate details of your life… I guess in one way, there is no turning back. You might as well trust them the whole way.
If you’re me however… yeah, that’s a whole other insecure story (I love talking in circles!).
Sometimes in life, you end up reading into things that aren’t even real. Maybe it’s the need to satisfy some inner desire. Could be pressure to reach a certain focal point…in any given situation, it’s a feeling dangerous in nature to you and any one else involved. Could get nasty, ugly and complicated…n other words, involves a real risk. The main problem is, of course, figuring out the truth from the fantasy.
Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…
Just about everyone’s been in a situation where it seems like they are the only driving force or factor acting… and anyone who’s been there will only be too happy to explain what a weird feeling it is… confirmation, returning the initiation… we all need it, just like we require closure and conclusions.
The beauty of life? Or just sheer irony?
Human ‘beans’ are weird creatures.
You know how I keep saying I am over my ex? Yeah… I am, I maintain… and coming home, speaking to one mutual friend… I had a gorgeous conversation, nothing spectacular, but for reasons I cannot really dictate or explain… I got all the closure I ever needed. Really, I wish the dude all the best –always, always.
Moving on…
Today was a pretty fantastic day in terms of, oh… I don’t know, the entire positive vibe of it I guess… yeah, generally… smiles all the way. Believe me, that’s rare. Life seems good these days… I guess, as always… that means the calm before the storm?
It’s good seeing everyone here I love so happy… hell yeah makes me want something like that but still, it is fantastic to be able to see what possibilities that lay ahead, for me as well if I’m lucky… (though as one guy I know would add “luck has nothing to do with it!”)… not saying it’s happy-go-lucky the whole ride through, but overall, the general atmosphere can tell you a lot. I think.
I love being with my best friends. I hate the jerks who keep calling me for a booty call. I like meeting up with old mates, and new ones ;) …I adore being with my beautiful sister, I enjoy every moment here in terms of the feeling of home, I dislike any thought of returning… (well, almost)… and I wish this feeling would last forever.
Reality is reality though. Wanting to be happy might be one of those unforgivable crimes here.
That ought to summarise it. Tc all out there.