Apke-apke-apkeeee

Lots of people, in fact everyone… has bad days. But I, I have horrible, disastrous, chaotic, crazy sequences of events.

Like yesterday… end of my hols was depressing enough to deal with along with the exams I had to look forward to failing, but no… I was upset with one beybe for not acknowledging my existence and the other for discussing what I had confided to him with every one he meets, worrying over another person’s um… situation, deadline for tons of work happens to be Monday, conversation with a friend about my ex which I should not have had, parental row, accidentally deleted some 300 files, fight with a someone close to me to do with misinterpretation and resultant confusion over a damned chat room, my room in campus was a disgusting mess thanks to ‘someone’, kitchen got locked and we starved, net shut down, I slipped and hurt me hip which activated an old injury, and I couldn’t sleep till 3:00 in the morning.

Naturally, room mate found my frustrations hilarious. Great, at least someone is happy.

That being said… not such a bad day. Revising politics I realised I already knew how to make a sound argument as to why Tony Blair is an arse… I’m fine ehenveema…just the aftershocks of yesterday that is still bugging me… you know, I mean hip is fine and shit like that, family has chilled – for now, works done, just stuff like… whether a certain fight has changed anything… why I feel so stupid about hoping about things I shouldn’t probably think about… wondering why I am so gutless… how can life be so turbulent? One minute you think you’ve grasped what’s going on… the next you have no idea what reality is…

Haha… nothing new as you can see.

My mom thinks I have bad choice in men. I think she might be right. Nice guys are around… but I dunno, I guess if I don’t feel it I can be pretty cold in return… no matter how nice they are. Being warm and friendly in those situations only made things worse anyway… I don’t know.

You think there is any such thing as a selfish thought or act? Does altruism exist? Logically, if the reason why we do good is for the ‘good’ feeling it causes, maybe kindness itself is a selfish act. Do we help others because it benefits us in some form? I guess the only plausible argument for that would be the concept of maternal affection. Why a mother would sacrifice her love might be explained via the theory of evolution and progress… but it does contradict the survival theory. Hm… Interestingly I got to thinking about this after watching a Desperate Housewives episode... the rich man’s wife who is having the affair with the teen kid, whatever her name is – some Gabrielle or something….she makes even charity seem shallow…

ARGH…friends called ‘Rockstorm’ ivvan. Fucked up L oooh it’s 6.6.6. Male’ time. What’s the big deal anyway? I got fucking exams. I don’t see anything special.