I wonder

Do you know how it feels?
The suns shining on your face, you're walking down the road wearing your fav jeans and tee, all comfy... You see mates on the road, wave a hi... Grinning and humming...
You look fine and all great... happy go lucky I'd say...
Inside you're tearing apart... listen closely, you're playing black metal and the smile on your face is coz you're really feeling the suicidal screams... You close your eyes and you're visualising being stabbed... you can almost see the ropes tightening... you glance at your wrists and far as you're concerned they're bleeding...
The life's draining out of you...
You know you're not the only one with problems but hey, what good does knowing that really do? You fucking hate your life anyways.
I reach office. I take out my lil electronic key and slam it against the reader. I kick the door open and take a deep breath. Light up my cig...
And I smile again.