I have a wierd habit of scribbling down random thoughts on the lil throw up paper bag on the airplane... after all, my words are just the vomit that's churned up by my bubbling insides often due to very acidic circumstances. (So my prose aint exactly Shakespeare. Sue me :P *ima gonna have a law degree soon to put ur lil mouth where it belongs -which is my lil, sadly not prominent, butt!*)
So todays lil barf choked up the following points... which I will go on and elaborate...
1. Travelling alone sucks. But you meet very interesting people when you're alone. And I don't mean in your head either.
2. Ever watched the movie 'Just myluck' starring some guy and Lind-slut Lohan? I am the one with the constant horrible luck. Everything that can go wrong does, all too often, go wrong. And I hate Emirates with a passion now.
3.It's fascinating how a 8 month friendship can transform into a 20 year marriage... rather freaky...
4.Two books to be read - Like Water For Chocolate and LeHazel (The Hazel) ...absolutely brilliant... audacious... beautiful prose, a plot that draws you in, gorgeously flawed characters... shocking but the marks of true writers - incredibly honest.
5.You realise how scarred you are only when you actually dare step into the light...

Well the first one was about the first bit of my journey... sat next to an old fart who talked too much and stank... but on the other hand met nice dude in um... the smoky section of the airport...
The next one refers to the fact that I forgot to give my roomie the gifts I meant to give her... :/ and I was feeling sucky about leaving my bum buddies behind (do not assume I meant that statement literally in some twisted sort of way) and I lost my faithful lappie (laptop not lassie or some wierd porno abbreviation either) in Heathrow and got delayed over 2 hours there as well during which time my not so faithful ipod went dead and my phone was fainting...
FINALLY got to Dubai after hellishly turbulent ride, and same all the way to Male' where after an hour (AN HOUR) of deliberation they decide to dump me in Lanka. *grief stricken at the memory* After 3 horus of filling sooo many forms and faxing it to various continents as well as listen to some idiot go on about how they are trying to 'assess the situation' (what the fuck is there to assess, you can't land, I am in Sri Lanka and I am hungry enough to eat you raw! -- do something??) ... finally they give me a room in a nice hotel and I am allowed to relax a bit... which was ok though, I chatted to a few friends.. and even met up with someone
:>
Still, I miss my lappie terribly... and I NEED my undies :( (Not that I haven't any here but I miss my favourite thongs! Do empathise... )
The third lil rather sentimental bitsy is referring to a loabi friend of mine... one of my best friends that I love very much... and how tripping over to this person's home and effectively 'living together' made me forget how life was without this person... seems like I've known this person foreverrrrrrrrrr... and I know (and love) this friends faults and strengths... the other day we were on the bus deliberating over what I would cook for dinner and what stuff we had in the fridge and the domestic convo led to jokes about being 'married' lolx... we fight, you've pissed the hell outta me... and I the same... but... effectively 'we're cool' and 'wai wuv wvu'.
Miss you Nivea! Take care of our baby *guitar*... she needs a nappy *string* change...
Number 4 is self-explanatory.
The next one is rather deep I should say.... I was staring out the lil peephole they call an aeroplane window and dreamily fantasizing about stepping out on those clouds and rewriting the whole of Aladdin's magic carpet ride in 'A whole new world' (my fav cartoon btw) in such a way that would mist up all these lil glass oval window type thingies. o:>
*ANYWAY*
I started to think about... the hearts I've broken... the one that in its breaking, splintered mine as well... and then I started treating other hearts rather delicately, gently even... but only to have mine shattered again and again.. I've tried hard not to turn into a sour old lady, a cynic blind to how beautiful life can be...but I see myself slipping back into such an abyss more and more everyday.
I don't want a relationship. I don't want to fall in love every again. I promise you I will do everything I can to prevent that from happening. No, am not going to deprive my mother of grandchildren *smiles* and another son (why she would want another of 'those' is beyond me though *giggle*) but to love... is to put oneself in harms way...
I don't know... but... hopefully someday I'll be able to just push everything aside and marry some nutter off the road that Mom likes. (and hopefully Dad hates - shouldn't be too hard either *evil chuckle*)
I give up on trusting people. I didn't think things had bothered me this much... but I guess they have... being the bitch is so much easier... it was all a loosing battle anyway... It's not one person's fault I've gone on love strike... the last blow was just the falling brick from my already wobbly pile...
When someone points out I've been cold.. do I evaluate myself... and realise how much I've already hardened up... anyway, some people might think it's a good thing, but personally I've always thought the world's a happier place when you don't hate it... then again, you can't lie to yourself forever...
On a final note : Ville Valo is very hot and I have rekindled a previous addiction for HIM. A kid who grows up with parents who own sex shop, this finnish dude being bisexual and totally flamboyant does not surprise me in the very least... seems an interesting character too...
I'm bored. And bored. And slightly nuts. Sorry for any inconvinience caused.