Masterpiece written in 2003 (and what a idiotic year that was :P !)

Dear Apple of my retina,
My eyes are saturated with aqueous NaCl now that you have successfully managed to deterioraye my cardiac muscles. Your love oxidised me and rid my heart and soul of all negativity. Like a gamma ray, you penetrated my entire being... undeflected and unabsorbed...
You are my soul mate, a being just like me. Our bases are so similar, our powers ought to multiply. Be present, you're perfect (and don't be tense...)
I love you as long and as much as there are great balls of hydrogen undergoing fission to form/release helium in the sky. You make my hypothalamas and thyroid glands go wacko... my senses grow weak...
Your hair is reflected in the crow my brother just ran over. Your lips as red as the blood that flows from its dead and deceased - not to mention mutilated, carcass...
Whatever you heard about me babe, I swear it's like Manube said 'simply not true'... like that rapper-wannabe kid said 'masheh nun'. My promises liken Tony Blair, and George Bushes interviews... honest and sincere.
Oh it's obvious... like US got Saddam... you have captured me. You're like a drug; like a chemical compound that alters how my body usually functions - addictive with strong withdrawal symptoms. Like a cigarette your fumes, (specially when you economise on deo) empower and envelope me - I can hardly stay concious.
Zis adorrration zis iz le everrr-lastee-eeng! It shall fade when pigs evolve to fly... when NSS does something worthwhile, when Maldivians treat each other with respect/humanity and offer basic general privacy, when the sun and moon collide, when MDP finally does come to power, when Democracy brings peace!
Please realise...

- Your forsaken lover -
(do not try to locate me, it's like Osama... you know where to find me, but its better for all if you don't... bigger profits too!)

Do not ask me what possessed me to write such utter bullshit. This is just me years ago, so I've featured the shit. Goes to show I had way too much free time (or too less, depending on how you look at it). I promise you it was funny BACK THEN. Well now, SUFFER!!