My mirror...it broke...

Reflect you say? Fuck it, it just messes me up man, big time...
If only I could turn back time... say what I still hide...
What good would it do really, the more I think about it - our fate is final, more or less what would have happened anyway.
'What if' is an infection that grows within you and the more you question, the more vulnerable you are, the easier you break down.
So let the past lie...
And history repeat itself?
Contradictions exist in every part of our lives...
I am in a relationship with someone I barely know, for reasons I cannot comprehend and it is clear to me that the emotions I project to him exist merely on the surface, none of this is real... it is not a relationship and it is pointless, and there is absolutely no future in it. I guess even in pretense it's the idea of being loved and thought of that I cannot seem to let go of. Why am I fooling myself?
What in this life IS real?
Are the friendships I maintain, and new ones I develop, worth any effort? Have bitter experiences soured my judgement? Is any thing forever?
Why do all these questions still haunt me...will I ever find contentment?
Is anything I do in life ever going to be worth anything? Is all the love I feel for all the people in my life (I'm not into roses and shit, I'm not into flowery phrases and blank verses of compliments but I try to show in other less poetic ways) appreciated?
Is there a reason to live every new day? When I'm just a speck in 6 billion? Then again, do I need to be significant?